The Battle of Ifrit and Yoda
Yoda and Ifrit (or Ifrit and Yoda, depending on your perception), decided to battle in order to determine who would be supreme and ultimate in the universe. They battled on a cosmic plane, whose appearance depended on the perception of the viewer. To Yoda, they were battling just outside of Coruscant. To Ifrit, in a mass of flames and lava.
Yoda drew his lightsaber and sunk it deep in the side of Ifrit, but Ifrit merely blinked. Then, Ifrit swallowed the lightsaber, stepping on Yoda. He looked at his foot and said, "What did I step in?" rather nonchalantly. Yoda jumped up and said, "Not as simple to beat as you think, am I?" raising his hand and slamming Ifrit into the ground. Ifrit stood up and said, "Don’t be foolish, green elf-thing," before he and Yoda fought.
Continuously, through an entire 10 year period, they fought, neither of them budging or gaining an advantage. Then, they saw a mushroom on the ground. Ifrit picked it up, sniffed, and said, "Is it food?" Yoda said, "It’s not supposed to be eaten, I sense," rubbing his chin. The mushroom sprang up, revealing his sword, and quietly said, "I am Kinoko Otoko, decider of your fate." "What makes you decider of the fate, fungus one?" questioned Yoda. Kinoko Otoko rolled his eyes and said, "Well, let’s see, moron, I’m writing this story. "Oh," said Yoda. "Now, since you are both strong, I shall rule that you both tie," said Kinoko. "No, I cannot allow this," replied Yoda defiantly. "Fine," said Kinoko, stabbing Yoda, and killing him. "No wait, on second thought, I’ll bring you back to life, as long as you return to your Jedi academy," said Kinoko as he revived Yoda with a mushroom, and Yoda returned to his Jedi academy, and later to Dagobah . Ifrit then departed to his cave, collecting donations for another cave, larger and equipped with cable and a PS2. Kinoko Otoko saw this was good, and so he took a nap, leaving the battlefield, which was based totally on conceived perception.
By: Kinoko Otoko
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