Have you ever had a problem getting somewhere? Almost every person has at some point in their lives. The fact is, in this busy society, there are a number of people who can't get a ride to where they need to go. This problem afflicts more and more people as the streets continue to get crowded with pedestrians, motorcyclists, the occasional bicyclist, and the ever dangerous old people. Those few who manage to find a seat on one of the several commercial airlines face the problem that has plagued our country recently...a lack of good airline food. This problem alone has left thousands doomed to travel by foot..or other despicable modes of transportation and physical activity.
So what can we, as random citizens, do to combat this growing lack of transportation options? Well, we could follow the suggestion of several hippies and other environmentally concerned people, and carpool or walk....but that is a choice no one should ever have to make. However, there is another solution..one that is much more convenient. What is this you ask? Why, it's none other than the extraordinary AEROSOL CAR!! That's right, you heard us...a car which is created through the use of a simple aerosol spray can. What could this possibly be useful for? Well, since it's so difficult to find a decent mode of travel today, and since the normal cost of automobiles, not to mention gasoline, seems to be continuously increasing, what better way to travel at an affordable price could there be? (Besides hijacking a car from someone who has a considerable amount of money..)
The Aerosol Car is incredibly easy to use. Simply find a spot devoid of any sort of debris, point the nozzle of the can at that spot, and press down on the "trigger" for approximately 1-2 minutes, and you will see the car appear before your eyes! Once completely solidified, simply throw the empty spray can anywhere, preferably somewhere no one will walk, to avoid lawsuits, then climb in your new car, hit the ignition button, and drive. The car comes equipped with all possible options, and depending on the type you purchase, comes in one of 10 different styles. It is operated much like any normal vehicle, except that rather than dealing with the inconvenience of keys, the car is turned on and off with the push of a rather large and clunky red button. There is also no need to worry about fuel, and the car operates on an electric turbine engine that runs by turning surrounding oxygen, hydrogen, and nitrogen molecules into a foul-smelling vapor, which turns the turbines at an incredible 10,000 RPM, and leaves the car through a large exhaust valve at the back of the car. The vehicle is temporary however, and will begin to vastly deteriorate after 24 hours, becoming nothing more than a collection of toxic sludge after 36 hours.
The Aerosol Car is 100% effective at destroying the environment by depleting the ozone layer, polluting the breathable air, and killing off any vegetation within a 10-mile radius of the vehicle. This product will also contribute to lung cancer, the loss of skin, hair, and white blood cells, as well as premature blindness, deafness, and muteness. Prolonged exposure to the vapors within this can can cause loss of memory and face. Do not point directly at people, unless you want to convert them into automobiles. Puncturing this can or setting fire to it is recommended, and can only help the exhilaration you will feel as you drive in it. The use of this product is prohibited in 14 states and 70 countries, and is strongly discouraged by the FDA, EPA, PETA, and AARP.
A picture of our incredible product! (economy class model shown)