Today's update is exhausted but upbeat! Please consider stopping by the Images section to keep it company. It's had a long day, but is still a bit lonely.

Rest assured that today's update is in a jovial yet relaxed mood. Feel free to pop by the Images section for a chat. It's unlikely to be angry for any reason at all!

Take precautions as you prepare to view today's update. There have been concerning noises emanating from the Images section over the last couple of days. Of course, it could just be the aging air conditioning system, but it's best to be safe.

Today's update has been up since 3am, stalking back and forth through the Images section. Periodically, noises not unlike those of a soda can fizzing have been heard from that direction. Proceed with caution (but not too much caution.)

The heat has been less merciless than usual, and so today's update seems to have regained some of its vigor. Stop by the Images section to chat with it for a bit if you wish. After all, regular socializing certainly seems to improve its mood!

Fresh from the stagnant heat of the outdoors, this month's update almost collapsed as it staggered in. After a few minutes in the walk-in freezer, it had recovered enough to stumble into the Images section. Feel free to bring a glass of ice water for it when you visit!

This month's update launched (and subsequently landed) today! If you follow the slight trail of smoke coming from the Images section, you should see a mostly intact ship. With any luck the update will be there, and not stuck in the treetops nearby.

Today brings a new update, and this update is no exception! We've spent no expense to ensure that the Images section is updated with state-of-the-art comfort for today's update. Feel free to visit the new update and explore the Images section in all of its unaltered glory!

Welcome back to another month, and another update! In this month's edition, you'll find a lengthy interview with our newest update, and up-and-coming resident of the Images section, whom you can visit right now! Also, don't miss this month's newest recipe, "===" by "*****"!

This month's update can be found in the Image section. When last spotted, it seemed to be counting a large collection of after-dinner mints and bottle caps. We thought it best to let it occupy itself quietly, so please step carefully when going to view it!

Today's update responsibly placed itself in the Images section without assistance. As shocked as we were, we were also proud of its most recent accomplishment. Feel free to view it and offer your own messages of encouragement.

Closing out the first month of another long measurement of planetary movement, today's update has taken the concept of a fresh start to an exciting new level! Unfortunately, we're too tired to chase after it. You'll have to make do with perusing the Images section until we can motivate ourselves to climb all those stairs again.

Today's update has arrived as part of a groundbreaking new celebration package in honor of another year of our website's continued existence on the flimsy electronic highway that is the internet. Even now, today's update resides in the Images section, proud to contribute its part to the wider web. With any luck, the fanfare and music won't have quieted down by the time you visit it.

Today's update is in the Images section, and is looking quite relieved to be there. This is, of course, quite unusual, but the circumstances were also quite unusual, so we've put it out of our minds for now. Feel free to visit the Images section, but please approach quietly and gently.

This month's update has already spent the morning making a list of life goals and organized its space according to efficiency. Feel free to marvel at this impressive feat in the Images section. Hurry though, before it gets a book deal and disappears completely.

As the month ends and fall carries on, we noticed this month's update frolicking in the piles of leaves outside. We presented it with a rake, and gave it the option to clear the leaves or come inside. You'll find it in the Images section, with the leaves still very much uncleared.

Today's update made a home in the Images section all by itself. We found it by accident, and despite attempting to give it the freedom to leave, it seems to be comfortable there. Feel free to visit; it seems to enjoy company.

This month's update trudged in with heavy footsteps, clearly exhausted and overheated from this awful time of year. We gave it some cool water and turned on some soothing music. Feel free to cool off with it in the Images section, and feel free to turn the fan on if it's still too warm.

We spent weeks tailing this month's update as it climbed higher and higher through a well-known mountain range. When it stopped to rest, we immediately trapped it in a quantum-linked sphere and released it into the Images section. Feel free to view it and appreciate the marvels of modern science!

After a few days of heavy winds, we ventured outside yesterday to find this month's update had blown into the back lot. After drying it off and cleaning it up a bit, we've installed it in the Images section. Feel free to partake (visually) of nature's (or rather, the wind's) bounty!

The latest reports indicate that the economic situation in the Images section is improving. Many speculate that it has something to do with this month's update. Anyone who is paying attention knows that it's largely because of the uncontested gold deposit buried underneath it, though.

Today's update was carefully removed from an ancient fresco and installed in the Images section. The ominous music that began playing is probably just a coincidence. Please disregard it during your visit.

If you've been looking for a healthy new meal, why not ask this month's update for recommendations? It's been seen with a large simmering pot in the Images section. Don't ask it what it's cooking, though.

This month's update rests comfortably on a small pile of assorted rags. Carefully view it in the Images section, but please take care not to wake it. It didn't sleep last night.

Today officially marks TWO DECADES of the mystery and wonder contained within this bubble of the internet. 20 years, and yet it hardly feels like 20 years have passed. To celebrate the fact that this website has outlasted many popular websites over the years, we've put a small keepsake for our visitors to commemorate this historic occasion. Look for it in the Images section, and remember that there's just one for EVERYONE, so kindly spend your allotted time beholding it and move on so the next visitor can have their chance.

As the year begins to draw to a close, this month's update has taken time to reflect on the year that has past, and the potential for the years ahead. We've rigged a device to capture it as it's distracted with its reflections. Sneak quietly into the Images section and you might be able to witness it firsthand.

Today's update refuses to be scary, even though it is the appropriate season for such things. Perhaps you can convince it otherwise. Feel free to stop by the Images section and make your best attempt at persuasion.

As fall arrives, you'll want to step carefully through the Images section. The fallen leaves are making a mess, and today's update has only begun to clean up. Help it out, and there may be a reward in it for you.

You'll be happy to know that today's update started out in a wonderful mood. Then the incident occurred. You may want to tread carefully to the Images section to get the unpleasant details firsthand.

This month's update will astonish, surprise, shock, and terrify you! Those are, of course, the words printed on the box, so who's to say what today's update will actually do? Only you can, if you venture to the Images section.

Today's update has chosen to sleep in, and as such won't be wandering outside of the Images section. Feel free to quietly observe it from the appropriate location. We thank you in advance for not disturbing it!

Please be careful as you visit the Images section. This month's update drove a small vehicle in there and there was a loud crashing noise followed by quite a few growls. You may want to take a broom with you.

We're pleased to announce that today's update has finally arrived! It was originally scheduled to be released into its new home in the Images section two months ago, but it would seem that there were...certain delays. Not to worry though, it's just as fresh as the day it was shipped!

Today's update is throwing a celebration for unknown reasons. Feel free to join in with it in the Images section. Kindly watch where you step so that you don't track confetti when you leave!

This month's update can be found in its favorite environment: the Images section. Feel free to take a ticket from the machine on the left and enter to view the update in its natural surroundings. For a few dollars more, you may even grab a few treats to feed it.

This month marks a new year, and as the old saying goes "new year, new U." That's why we're working hard to completely redesign the U, and with any luck, the entire alphabet as we know it! While you wait to see what new phonetics we will develop, feel free to rest your ocular senses on the new update located in Images section.

Today's update celebrates the site's 19th anniversary! Just one more year and it will officially span two entire decades of existence! In celebration, head to the Images section for a treat (hint: it's not edible.)

Today's update complained of being "very tired", then trudged off to the Images section to lie down. Feel free to visit it, but please step quietly.

As a treat for the spooky season we've found ourselves in the midst of, please tread carefully to the Images section for a new update. Be wary, though, as the path there has become dark and covered with a low, dense fog. It's probably nothing to worry about, though.

Before you venture into the Images section to observe this month's update, feel free to take one of the new brochures offered at the front entrance. We're not sure where they came from or what they say, but we wouldn't want you to miss out.

Today brings a pleasant suprise: this month's update is hosting a polite meet-and-greet event in the Images section. Kindly visit and mingle at your own leisure. Refreshments are also served, but whatever you do, avoid the scones.

This month's update didn't feel well, so it unfortunately won't be making an appearance. Thankfully a substitute was located in time. Kindly visit our substitute update in the Images section.

As the heat of summer begins its terrible reign, this month's update has chosen a cool, dark space to rest in until nightfall. You are welcome to share this refuge from the heat; you need only navigate quietly to the Images section.

Welcome, please enjoy this month's update which can be found residing in the Images section. Please be wary, however, of the security breach in the other sections. Rest assured we'll have the disturbance under control before nightfall.

This month's update will be ready for you momentarily in the Images section. Kindly wait in the lobby and it will be ready in just a few moments. Unfortunately, refreshments are not available at this time. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Let this month's update guide you to a profound sense of inner peace. If that fails, hopefully it will at least guide you to a profound sense of having stared deeply into the jaws of not-quite-peace. Either way, journey to the Images section to begin this existential investigation!

This month rises from its sleep to bestow a gift upon us: a new update in the Images section. Show your gratitude to the month of February and browse your way over to the aforementioned section at your earliest convenience.

A new year begins as this decade drags on into the future. To mark this important monthly milestone, we've provided an important monthly update. Kindly head into the Images section to receive it!

Today our website becomes old enough to vote (in some locations), drink (in some locations), and to officially own a doomsday device (in limited locations)! Yes, it's been 18 years since this website started, and look how far it's grown! Here's to doubling that amount at the very least! To celebrate, feel free to view the Image posted today in honor of this special occasion (please navigate to the appropriate section for viewing)!

Chill autumn winds whip down the corridor, as this month's update pulls its knit cap lower and heads into the Images section. Follow it if you'd prefer. It will be much warmer than it is outside.

Normally, you'd be notified that this month's update has appeared in the Images section. However, these are not normal times. Therefore, consider this your notice that in the Images section, the update from this month now exists.

This month's update is quietly napping in the Images section after a very long day. Sneak back softly and feel free to take pictures, although kindly turn off your flash. It's unpleasant to wake up to bright flashes of light.

A vehicle speeds down a forest road on a dark night. Behind the wheel, this month's update frantically looks in its rearview mirror as it speeds back to the Images section. Carefully drive after it, but be sure to stay far enough back that it won't realize you've spotted it.

The noise you hear coming from the hedges in the front yard isn't anything to be scared of. This month's update left the comfort of the Images section to forage for food. Your steps scared it back towards its home. Please check in on it to make sure it's doing ok.

Recent reports indicate that a delivery driver left today's update on the doorstep, and moments later, the update promptly escaped into the Images section. Arm yourself with a sturdy net and creep quietly after it, lest it sense your approach.

Looking into the haze, you can barely make out the outline of an image, standing in the middle of the woods. It doesn't appear to have sensed you yet. Take your weapon and quietly make your way into the Images section, before today's update can sense your presence and attack. Good luck, adventurer!

Unlike most updates, today's update isn't an image. Instead, it's a glimpse of multi-dimensional quantum debris. We were lucky enough to capture it between two sheets of molecular film, at which point we bombarded it with cathode rays, thus giving it the appearance of an image. You may find it in the appropriate section, mostly in existence at this point.

Today's update has crept silently into the Images section, and is hoping not to be noticed. It's your job to locate it and view it into submission, if you feel that you're up for it.

This month's update is a very special update: it's a Leap Day update! That's right, an update like this arrives only once every 4 years! Enjoy your Leap Day update in the Images section, without even having to swim through any ocean trenches or shed any tears!

The first update of the new year, and it feels like the beginning of a new 366 days! To celebrate the increased day we'll experience this year, we have included a special new year update, which is located in the Images section.

Today is our 17th anniversary! As a celebration, this year's annual gift update is: an image, made fresh daily just for you! Enjoy the newly made image in the Images section, and we look forward to more exciting things in the coming days, weeks, months, years, centuries, millenia, eons, etc.

Upon viewing the update for today, you'll doubtless notice some strange marks around the edge. The intention had been to put the aforementioned update in the Images section yesterday, but due to some complicated glitches in time and space, today's update was stuck in an alternate dimension for a bit. Extracting it was tricky, but it's safely resting in the Images section now.

Today's update was located in the toothpaste aisle, where it definitely didn't belong. We were in a hurry, so we threw it in the basket anyway. Once we arrived home, it broke free of its box and ran to hide in the Images section. If you're quiet, you may be able to catch a glimpse of it, or perhaps even lure it out.

Weeks ago, we wandered down a wooded path in an old-growth forest. Without realizing it, we nearly tripped over this month's update. Startled, it bounded away into the underbrush. Well, we have good news: it's been seen wandering around a thicket in the Images section. Step quietly on your way to find it, though, or it may disappear again.

Today's update can be found in the Images section, and this piece of information explaining this will be kept short and simple, as there's nothing suspicious about today's update. Nothing suspicious at all... Seriously nothing!

You step out of a dark corridor, through a heavy wooden door, and into a lush forest. In the bushes, you hear a rustling noise. Suddenly this month's update emerges, startled, and bolts past you into the Images section. Now's your chance to follow it and catch what you've been hunting all of this time.

It's summer in at least half of the world, and for most, that means a trip to the beach. This month's update, however, has absolutely nothing to do with the beach. Instead, try relaxing in the cool, dark environs of the Images section while you check out the new update there.

After a long weekend at a local spa, this month's update came back refreshed and relaxed. Feel free to visit it in the Images section to hear all about the trip. Maybe it will share the spa's location if you're really nice to it.

We've recently received reports of this month's update falling from overhead and crashing near our Images section. Witnesses reported a loud screeching sound, and the smell of fresh ozone. If you'd be so kind as to journey there, we'd appreciate you checking to make sure everything's fine.

As the winner in today's Lightning Turbo Quiz Round, you have been awarded the grand prize! To find it, please fill out the enclosed form, attach it to a check or money order, and press them both as hard as you can through your screen (or paper, for those of you using the analog form of our website.) After 3-5 minutes, check the Images section for your reward!

On another episode of "This Month's Update", a shocking twist unfolds. That's right, it's the return of an update in the Images section. Tune in, now!

Today brings us the traditional first update of the new year. Having thus taken part in the new tradition, our new update has retired to the Images section. Feel free to visit it and bring your best wishes for it to grant!

Today is the 16th anniversary of the website! As is customary, this anniversary comes equipped with an extra bonus update! Today's update comes in the form of an updated way of browsing the Images section, complete with an image gallery and a more user-friendly redesign! Feel free to peruse the newly improved Images section, and here's to an infinite amount of years to come!

We draw closer to the end of the year, and thus closer to another anniversary for this prestigious web location. While you wait, please feel free to peruse from one of our newest arrivals, a free sampling of this month's update! To locate it, please follow the green arrow to the blue arrow, and follow the blue arrow to the Images section.

In honor of the upcoming holiday, we've created a frightening and unexpected occurrence: a new update! It first tore itself from its moorings, and then fled into the darkness of the Images section. Cautiously travel there at once, and feast your eyes...at your own peril, of course.

A wise person once said...some quote or another that seemed incredibly profound. Seems like that's all they ever say. We, on the other hand, feel it's necessary to say only the words that are immediately important. Therefore, we will use those words to construct helpful instructions on where to find today's update. *Spoiler alert* The update is an image.

The heat of the season is upon us, bearing down like a heavy comforter in a room full of space heaters. Luckily, we have a metaphorical oasis designed to help you fight through the heat until the comfort of cooler temperatures appears. All it takes is a mere visit to the Images section, and you'll find this month's update, guaranteed to lift your spirits just enough to motivate you on your journey through the desolate landscape of summer.

Exactly a month after our last update, we bring you the unthinkable! That's right, it's another update! For a modest sum, you may head down the stairs, take the 2nd train on the left, and journey into the Images section to view this rare occurrence. Kindly watch your step.

In honor of...well, nothing technically (we just wanted an excuse to do it), today's update is an image that celebrates the endless march forward into tomorrow, fighting through the endless boatride backwards into the past. Be careful not to trip over the present on the way to the Images section, since nobody ever pays attention to the present.

On a hunch, we spent 3 years entrenched in the Sea of Tranquility in order to catch a glimpse of today's update so that you wouldn't have to. The fruits of our toil have finally arrived. You'll see the results in the Images section.

Today's update is an image with a message. That message is "we won't give up on you." Unfortunately, we don't know who the "we" or the "you" in that message is. Our top researchers are working tirelessly to determine the subject of these pronouns. In the meantime, feel free to visit the Images section to make your own interpretations.

Most visitors would be expecting an update soon. We've decided to throw those expectations into chaos by instead adding an update today. We (don't) apologize for the convenience. Stay tuned to the Images section for further details.

Today's update started out as a piece of vinyl-based street art that was found living on the ceiling of a famous monument (whose identity has been withheld for safety reasons.) After coaxing it down, it was digitized and injected directly into the Images section. Feel free to view it, but please be sure to wear the appropriate digital safety gloves and harness.

The new year starts off with a new update! In a rare (yet extremely common) event, today's update is a new image. Peruse it at your own peril (or pleasure) in the section where these types of things (images) reside.

Today's update is as exciting as it is honorary. Today marks the 15th anniversary of this website! It's been a great ride so far, and I look forward to continuing it for many more years. An image has been added to the Images section, but expect more updates soon, both visible and somewhat less than visible!

With updates comes a new version of reality, one in which the new update exists. Thanks to the very real phenomenon of splitting and multiplying universes, you can always be sure that you might exist in at least one timeline where the new update has already arrived. If you are reading this, then you can count yourself lucky at having reached the aforementioned timeline, and you can reward yourself with a viewing of the newest update in the Images section.

Today brings an update that has been pieced together from envelopes that were delivered over the course of 3 months from what is believed to be another dimension of existence. They could have also just been sent by a cryptic mischief maker. See if you can figure out the mystery as you view the update in the Images section.

We found today's update in the back room of a nondescript shoe store, which was located in a typically rundown strip mall. After dusting it off and polishing it, we hung it in the Images section for viewing. It's still there, or so we've been told.

Today's update was pieced together from discontinued paint swatches and merged together into its current form. Certain paint companies are furious, so visit the Images section to view it before they destroy our virtual interior decoration.

This month's update is the latest innovation in advanced technology, or at least it would have been before the accident. Now it resides in the Images section, slowly healing and wondering what could have been. Perhaps you could visit it and cheer it up?

Behold this month's update, as it enters the Images section from the wondrous, the glorious, the awe-inspiring...wrong section it accidentally entered. It wasn't particularly good at reading a map, and got lost for several hours. We've only given it a warning this time.

This month's update appeared momentarily, before evaporating into a fiery vapor. Our top experts pieced the update together from blurry security footage and eye-witness sketches. We hope they got everything right. Their results can be found in the Images section.

We located a new update hiding in the middle of a local park. After coaxing it out with promises of riches and fame, we pressed it in a digital book and displayed it in the Images section. Sometimes nature can be cruel; sometimes monthly updates can be almost as cruel.

Today's update has arrived just in time for me to announce that today's update has arrived! I've directed it to wait in the Images section for its number to be called. (Hopefully it doesn't catch on to the clever ruse I employed.)

Today's update comes to us from the briny depths of the digital sea. Once it has dried off and had a small meal, it will most likely nest in the Images section for several weeks before returning. Book your tickets to catch this once-in-a-lifetime experience before it's gone!

Just a short update today. Nothing has changed that much for The Mind, outside of some cleanup to make things a little fresher and more compliant. However, there have been major changes to the front page of the website, along with an entirely new section called The Construct being added! There is a new link to the right that you can use to access it.

We arrive in a new chronological measurement (in this case, a new year) with a renewed hunger for more updates. That hunger is partially satiated today, with a new update! You may find this delicious morsel in the Images section, if your appetite calls for it. In a slightly less visual sense, expect to experience some updates to this site in the near future. The Mind of Kinoko Otoko will hopefully see some revisions that shouldn't largely affect the look of it, but should hopefully clean up some things that have needed cleaning for quite some time. The site as a whole will also experience some changes that will hopefully allow for more creative offerings.

Today is the 14th anniversary of this prestigious institution...or rather, this website! If it were a human, it would be complaining that nobody understands it and locking itself in its bedroom. Thankfully, web humanization is still decades away, and so it sits peacefully, in a sea of digital transfers. On a related note, today's new update is an image which was uploaded with some of those aforementioned digital transfers. Install your viewing eyes and train them on it at your convenience.

It is with a heavy heart that today's update reveals it is currently occupying a space within the Images section. It will shortly make its way to a physician to determine why its heart has gained so much weight. A likely guess is that it has been enjoying too many holiday leftovers.

This month's update proves that there's nothing scarier than this month's update, except for things that cause more fear. In the meantime, feel free to scare yourself (or not) with the new image. Be brave; go for it!

Peering into the void for an extended period of time normally creates a unique mixture of terror, and possibly time-blindness. In a rare twist of luck, doing so has brought us a new image for today's update instead. Hurry to the Images section to view it before the time-blindness sets in, trapping you in this moment. Good luck!

What gifts the fiery doom of August heat has brought! Well, just one gift, which is today's new update. It's something new for your eyes to consume, unless you've traveled back in time, in which case your eyes have already consumed it. Then again, isn't observing something that has already happened the basis of all consumable media? Even now, reading these words, you are traveling back in time. Time travel is a truly interesting mess, unlike the Images section, which you should visit now if you haven't already done so.

Alas, today's update almost gave its life to be here. Thankfully, it found a way to give a few dollars instead, thus leading it to question its true value. You may contemplate its monetary and existential worth in the Images section.

Today's update is temporarily here due to a collision between our reality and another. View it quickly before the collision resolves itself and jettisons the update out of the Images section and into a stark existence of nothingness in the void.

A recent study indicated that 9 out of 10 standard human citizens found today's update to be "new". The 10th citizen was found not to be human at all, but a human-like lifeform bent on destroying our universe and everything we know and enjoy. Don't be like the 10th "citizen"; visit the Images section today for the new update!

The Ides of April are upon us, and quite uncharacteristic of The Ides, they have not delivered doom and destruction. Instead, they have bestowed a new update upon us. Normally, we should rejoice after receiving such a blessing. Today though, let's just view the new image and call it good.

Your lack of belief in today's update has disturbed it greatly. I would strongly suggest that you carefully make your way to the Images section and apologize. Perhaps giving it a small gift as a token of your sincere apology will smooth things over between you.

If you believe in Spiritualism, you'd know that today's update was foretold. If you don't follow such beliefs, then you already know there's an update today. Its identity, however, shall remain a mystery until this part of the sentence when I reveal that today's update is an image.

Some would say this is a late start to the new year. I, however, would say that this was a planned start, and thus it arrived precisely when it was necessary. Therefore, those who would consider this a late start have proven themselves to be fools, and thus may not gaze upon the newest image to be added to this website. The rest of you, however, are more than welcome to visit the Images section to visually absorb the aforementioned image.

We have come upon the 13th anniversary of the website today! Such celebration and excitement should be had! To commemorate the occasion, I've created a new image specifically for this monumentous event (as opposed to the other monumentous events that I regularly create on the spot and provide no images for.) You know where to find the image, as you always have. Here's to another 13 13th anniversaries!

Go forth momentarily, and find the answers to all of your questions. That is, if your questions are "Is there a new image?" or "Where can I view the new image?". If they aren't, then you'll probably find fewer answers.

You've arrived 5 seconds early. You'll have to wait 5 seconds until the new update appears in the section whose purpose is to display images. It is suggested that you start your countdown timer...now.

Here we are, again, at the inevitable post alerting you to another update. You, full of hope that a new image has been added. Me, full of disappointment that I've had to fulfill that hope by alerting you to a new image's existence. Such is life.

Today brings another image to update, in an attempt to quell the terrible summer heat. Don't expect much effect, though, unless you've also purchased the required Alternative Cooling Tank Adapter™ to attach to the new image.

Today's image update is a result of the long-term evolution of biological warfare amongst the most deadly aquatic lifeforms. Tread carefully, remain alert, and view it with caution.

If you read today's image update backwards...it will only end up confusing you. Don't take my word for it. Feel free to venture forth and test this at your own peril.

Based on past events, statistics would tell us that this month's update is a new image. I, however, will not answer this mystery. Find out for yourself this time.

Kindly turn your attention to the Images section, and in doing so, you may discover a freshly minted image. After viewing it, kindly turn your attention back to this page, and follow these directions again. Repeat as necessary.

Today's update is an image which brings us a short study in feelings and calendars. The study would have been longer, but funding was cut due to excessive electricity shipments.

Today's update appeared shortly after a collision with a being from the 4th dimension. While it now exists partially in this dimension, the image portion of it can still be viewed in ours. Be very thankful of this, for it could have been much worse.

Today's update starts the new year off correctly with a new image. Viewing it will require that you first see it out of the corner of your eye, then slowly bring it into focus. Do this carefully, though, as it is easily startled.