If you've ever played a Mario Kart game, you know that it's a rather entertaining racing game, featuring many of Nintendo's famous (or infamous) characters and whatnot. The DS version of this game is no exception. It provides a variety of items to use, some of which are entirely new to the game, and others that have either been in older games, or are variations of older items.
One of the ever changing features, however, are the tracks that you can race on. In Mario Kart DS, these tracks are both new and old. In other words, sixteen of them are tracks that are brand new to the game, and the other sixteen are tracks from the first 4 games in the Mario Kart series. As it happens, only 20 of the 32 tracks are playable online. I personally happen to like quite a few of the tracks that aren't featured online, and the fact that I can't play them is disappointing.
However, since there are still 20 tracks to play, I've grown to discover tracks that are good, and ones that I'd rather not play. So, that's what I will be ranking today, along with a short description of why the track is good or bad.
We'll start with the bad tracks first:
20. Baby Park (GCN): This is by far the worst map in the entire game. It's kind of odd, considering it's one of the simplest, but it could be because of the 5 laps, instead of the usual 3. The map's two giant turns require excellent timing in order to mini-turbo and make it around them without losing either your speed or your rank in the race. The two lines of item boxes, placed on opposite ends of the map, add another challenge as you have to aim your drift into the boxes while making it around the bend.
19. Mario Circuit 1 (SNES): Another simple map, and another bad map. The pipes which lie around the first big bend in the race prove to be tricky when attempting a drift around the corner. The giant stretch of sand after the item boxes offers a chance for a shortcut, if you have a golden mushroom, star or triple mushrooms, but otherwise lengthens an otherwise unnecessary track.
18. Wario Stadium (DS): A rather long and tedious map, littered with an overuse of fireballs and mud. Not as good as other Wario tracks in other MK games, and it seems as though Nintendo's overusing the mud thing a bit, but maybe that's just me.
17. Mario Circuit (DS): Another bad track with Mario's name on it (am I noticing a pattern?) There's a large amount of obstacles in the middle of the track, as is usual on Mario's tracks, and otherwise, there's nothing really exciting about the track. There are several curves to attempt a mini-turbo around, and more annoying flames (hooray), but otherwise, it's not that great of a map.
16. Choco Island 2 (SNES): Where do I start? The map is littered with bumps that throw off your speed, and are slightly annoying at best. You drive through mud (which is apparently called chocolate) again, and the track is incredibly difficult to drive on without sliding everywhere.
15. Peach Circuit (GBA): Several (thousand) turns in a row, that's basically all there is to the track. If you can't continuously turbo around a corner, and snake your way through the few straightaways along the map, then you'll probably lose.
14. Sky Garden (GBA): A white and fluffy piece of crap. A few turns, the continuous threat of falling off the map (not that the track is very narrow), and several "shortcuts", including one requiring you to throw yourself off the map. All in all, the map isn't that great, but what would I expect from a garden in the sky?
13. Frappe Snowland (N64): I've never trusted anything with a French name. In this version of the infamous N64 winter track, the snowmen don't explode...they just knock you backwards. Otherwise, it's the same crappy map, with the same field of snowmen, and the same boring turns.
12. Rainbow Road (DS): As far as Rainbow Roads go, this one isn't all that bad. The loops can be treacherous if hit by a shell or something similar, but it as easy to fall off as some of the older ones, and there aren't random things such as Chain Chomps attempting to murder you while you race.
11. Yoshi Circuit (GCN): A moderately acceptable map. It has plenty of curves for drifting and boosting, a shortcut or two, but otherwise not that great of a map.
10. Luigi Circuit (GCN): Of the simple tracks, this is one of the better. The wide lane, as a result of no wall between the tracks that go in opposite directions, allows for plenty of drifting, and the two huge turns let you drift, and even boost without mini-turboing.
9. Figure-8 Circuit (DS): A great map for people who are trying to learn how to snake. This map has plenty of curves, and fairly wide straightaways, so that anyone can practice. For people who whine about snaking, and choose not to snake, then the track has straight enough paths that a red shell can take out your opponents.
8. Luigi's Mansion (DS): Yet another "muddy" map. Has a few turns, and a lot of annoying moving trees, but with enough mushrooms, you can always attempt a comeback. The "revolving item boxes" give you a chance to drift around the corner, grab an item, and attempt a mini-turbo through the mud.
7. Delfino Square (DS): Another map with nice wide lanes, for the most part, that allow for good drifting. With the "shortcut", and a few lucky mushrooms, it's easy to make your way back from a devastating bob-omb to almost 2nd place. One of the major flaws in the map is the narrow "alleys", which make drifting difficult, and the use of shells more luck-related than skill-related.
6. Cheep Cheep Beach (DS): As far as beaches go, this isn't the worst one, but it isn't that great either. If you get a good item pick, you can use triple mushrooms through the water to make your way into the lead, but the "dirt" area in the last part of the track makes it difficult to land a red shell accurately, or to avoid a sudden item box or banana.
We've now reached the top 5. These maps are excellent maps that make it easy to catch up from a devastating hit or to get a few mushrooms for that last second boost into first.
5. Choco Mountain (N64): Perhaps it's nostalgia for the N64, or maybe it's just because of the "chocolate" that the track appears to be made out of, but I enjoy this map. It's not that difficult to get through, its obstacles don't get into your way too badly, and it's fairly easy to drift around the huge bends in the track.
4. Yoshi Falls (DS): One of the better Yoshi tracks in recent years. This map isn't too long, gives plenty of room for drifting or using items, and is quite easy to cut through if you know which "waterfalls" to drive through. It has a large amount of available items, both in normal spots and the "waterfalls", and is a nice map overall.
3. DK Pass (DS): Surprisingly, this is actually an enjoyable winter map. It gives plenty of corners for drifting and snaking, and with mushrooms there are some nice areas to cut past other drivers. The only annoyances are snowmen and snowballs, but for drivers with some sense of maneuverability or skill, they're not anything to worry about. The large snowy area that includes the snowballs is a great place to get a few mini turbos in your attempt to catch back up.
2. Desert Hills (DS): I've always enjoyed the desert tracks, and this is one of the best. Aside from the annoying fireballs and random Pokeys, there aren't that many obstacles, and this map is probably the best for a surprising comeback. If you can get triple mushrooms in the huge hills towards the end of the track, you can go from dead last to at least 2nd, or maybe even 1st.
1. Moo Moo Farm (N64): One of my favorites from Mario Kart 64, and a very nice track altogether. The obstacles, which are few and far between, are easily avoidable, and the track is wide enough for item usage and plenty of drifting and boosting. Overall, it's easily the best map in MKDS.
There you have it. The online tracks and their rankings. Feel free to dispute the rankings, but know that you'll be incorrect regardless. And a note on snaking: Snaking is a perfectly acceptable feature of the game, and anyone that claims it's cheating or complains about it is probably such a bad player that all they can do is whine about how much they fail, rather than trying to get better at the game. So there you go...now go play MKDS and quit wasting time.
Mario Kart, and all tracks and characters are copyrights of Nintendo.
